Tag Archives: tops

HuffPost Post – Forever 21 & Religion

HuffPost version of this Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-kane/the-11-ways-forever-21-is_b_922581.html#s325926&title=God_Will_Guide

Enjoy it all over again for the first time on Huffington Post!

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Forever 21 is Too Cool for School

After yesterday’s very interesting research into the religious crop top rantings at Forever 21, I was heartened to see the retailer doesn’t have it all wrong when it comes to messages on t-shirts.

i ❤ School: $13.80

Given the high rate of unemployment in this country, it’s so nice to see Forever 21 making a positive, non-judgy wudgy was a bear declaration.

Especially after their fiasco with the “I’m Too Pretty to Do Math” magnet a few months ago, which had much of the general gal public up in arms for perpetrating stereotypes in the girl community which steer so many bright, beautiful young ladies away from focusing on da maths.

Imagine how refreshed I found myself to see this, then, after so many Jesus and God shirts. If they made this top, surely Forever 21 couldn’t be all bad.

Then I turned it around.

OH.

OKAY.

‘Cus it’s so cool to not like school. It’s so cool to worry about chronic unemployment because you hated school so much and were “too cool” for it. It’s totally cool to have not learned your lesson about creating accessories and clothing that pray on the inexplicable need for young girls to try to dumb themselves down to be more appealing to young boys. It’s so cool to trick me into thinking you love AP English and learning just as much as I do!

Forever 21, Are You Still Going to be my Lab Partner?

(Probably not…)

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The 11 Items Helping Forever 21 Sell Their Religion

We all knew this day would come.

The day when the ultra-religious views of Forever 21’s owners crept out from under their signature yellow bags and onto their shelves.

They’ve always had a penchant for crosses. A sizeable chunk of their accessory stock is crosses. Bedazzled, jazzled, rhinestone dipped and covered in colorful bling, but crosses none the less. Not a biggie. Madonna, anyone?  But on my most recent visit to the Glendale Galleria’s Forever 21 store and then again while browsing their online catalog, I noticed a disturbing trend in the graphic tees. Some were just hinting at a shadow of religion, which I’ve seen before from them, but NOW? Now there are items going Holy balls to the wall with tops that have what reads like  scripture on them.

Faith Knit Tee: $9.00

Jesus [Heart] You Top: $9.00

Holy Fringe Tank: $13.80

Jesus [Heart] Me Crop Top: $12.80

God Cropped Burnout Tank: $13.80

Cropped Thank God Burnout Top: $17.80

Price/Name unknow – A reader from London sent this in.

I left out the numerous tops with just crosses on them (bedazzled, bejewelered, drag-queen-like crosses) because I thought it would probably be repetitive, but I believe this is a good sampling of the Christian clothing crusade.

In itself, standing alone, the phrase, “Jesus Loves Me” or the word “Holy” splattered across a cheap crop top and worn by some pre-teen Bible thumper doesn’t bother me. I don’t care about your religion. That is, until you use it to make me feel uncomfortable or in a way I think may be preachy.

That’s where THESE tops comes in:

Yours Eternally, God: $13.80

Pray: $14.80

Three Words: $14.80

God Will Guide: $14.80

Amidst the forgettable crosses and Jesus love, THIS stuff jumped out at me, tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, “You are no longer in a store. Welcome to the Sunday morning service you did not sign up for. Now get to prayin’ sinner!”

So, how do you feel about this? Are you alright shopping for deals with a side of Lord and Savior or do you believe in separation of Church and Style?

Forever 21, WTFWJD?

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Same WTF, Different Day

Yesterday I took a break from my regularly scheduled cave dwelling existence and ventured out into the belly of the neon beast that is Forever 21.

It took all of 30 seconds and three steps inside the store before I came face to face with my own personal tribal nightmare.

Which I promptly purchased.

Top: Forever 21 $17.80

Leggings: Forever 21 $10.80

Heels: Nine West

Drink it in, lovelies. This is what REAL WTF looks like.

You may all remember the leggings from a previous post about Tribal Trend Tragedies. The top is a new edition, although well deserving of a tragic title on its own.

Despite being 100% pure “suedette,” the fringe was quite disappointing. It just didn’t flow, didn’t MOVE the way I’d hoped.

So I did that cool model trick when they jump in the air and everything looks fluid and amazing … only I did it SLIGHTLY less gracefully.

Okay, fuck, A LOT less gracefully.

Looks like the Wicked Witch of the Southwest.

Forever 21, WTF?

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What Not to Wear on Your Fantasy Date with Ryan Gosling

You’ve seen them.

We’ve ALL seen them.

And if you saw “Crazy, Stupid, Love” Friday, you definitely saw them.

I’m writing, of course, about Ryan Gosling’s abs.

I mean, come on. Even HE is confused as to how his body is that delicious.

Ladies (and gentlemen, for that matter), if you expect to attract this level of crispy, sexual, high-class swag-manship, you can not run around wearing just any old tribal print, “abstract” jumpsuit or burnt sienna, corduroy clusterfuck of a skirt for which Forever 21 is so unfortunately well known.

Below are the top 5 picks from our favorite bringer of WTFuckery that will definitely keep you far, far away from Ryan Gosling’s galaxy of tasty abs.

Lace & Chiffon Top: $24.80

As our first offender, we have what appears to be a funeral doily or the skirt of a Gothic Christmas tree, apparently meant to keep blackened pine needles AND Ryan Gosling’s abs away.

Sheer Ruffled Button Up Top: $17.80

The ruffles. The peachy, pasty color. The church lady sleeves and odd length. All great if you want to attract 79-year-old men at the Am-vet center. Not so good for attracting 31-year-old abs that made you both cry AND laugh in “The Notebook.”

Crinkled Metallic Motorcycle Jacket: $27.80

How DARE Forever 21 skin the withered nuts of Floridian retirees to make these things! Will their thirst for domination over the leathery sacks of the elderly never be satiated?

Not okay.

Lace Bow Scrunchie: $2.80

This scrunchie is a disgrace and quite frankly, I’m ashamed to even have it on the same page as Ryan Gosling’s luscious abs. Not only is it a fucking scrunchie, but it’s covered in lace! As if just the act of being a scrunchie and existing as an item for PURCHASE outside the date of 1986, was not ENOUGH, it has black LACE all over it. And as a final insult, it has a bow on top. If you think wearing an accessory that is practically a historical artifact of fashion is even going to get you in the vicinity of Ryan Gosling, let alone his abs, you’re nuttier than that ballsack jacket above.


Rhinestone Ring Watch: $12.80

Just because Ryan Gosling has abs so blindingly beautiful they make the sun say, “DAYAM” doesn’t mean you should litter your ring finger with cheap rhinestones and fake gold to compliment them. If you did get close to Ryan Gosling’s abs, all this ring is going to do is embarrass you with a green finger as you rub your trembling hand across his glistening chest. Leave the mini-me mob boss bling at home. Or better yet, in the half-price bin where it belongs, shaming everything else around it.

Forever 21, Stop Clit-Blocking Us.

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WTFourth of Fuck-ly

This is so bad I had to post it immediately.

What exactly about any of this shirt makes sense? I won’t even go into how many violations of the flag code AND my well being are happening here.

And for fashion’s sake, why now?? Perhaps to boost national morale in this, one of our darkest fiscal hours? If that’s what it’s for then they shouldn’t have priced it at $14.80.

They should have priced it at what it’s worth, which is NOT A DAMN.

It’s like a People of Walmart uniform. Pair it with bright red booty shorts, morbid obesity and a rascal scooter and you’ve got a traumatic childhood incident waiting to happen.

For SHAME, Forever 21. That is our FLAG.

And you’ve shamelessly whored it up with lipstick and fake eyelashes and paraded it around like a Toddlers & Tiaras reject on Ritalin.

Rhinestones.

You just HAD to add rhinestones. The addition of rhinestones meant whoever designed this shirt, after taking Old Glory and making her look like she’d been rode hard and put away wet, then slapped Marilyn Monroe’s face on this … thing, looked it over and said to themselves,

“More. It needs MORE … RHINESTONES.”

Well, at least the model looks happy …

OH WAIT, she looks MISERABLE.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Wonderful Wednesday: J. Crew for less

Today’s exercise in Forever 21 fan gushing will be both a profile one of my (and Michelle Obama’s) personal favorites, J. Crew, as well as a championing of Forever 21’s power in the price game.

For spring, Forever 21 has managed to carve out a chic niche in their normal rotation of 80’s inspired crap-ola and is offering a lot of pieces which borrow heavily from J Crew’s current lineup.

Here are some of the most relevant highlights:

Ruffled Handkerchief Top

Price: $22.80

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