Tag Archives: shoes

Get It Now!

Get what now?

A job having my g-string plugged with sweaty dollar bills or a communicable disease? I spied this selection of busted ass stripper heels on the top floor of a Forever 21. Most of them were soiled in some fashion, and all of them looked as if they had been worn. To the club. Many times. Until closing.

Check out these gems. Sky-high, red feathered shoes, ripe for the picking. You’d have to be a fool or someone who doesn’t like getting a stranger’s foot crust on you not to buy these!

And these! Electric blue and heavy on attitude.

And dirt.

It was hard to tell just by looking at them, but I am guessing these shoes may have been the shoes below at some point in history.

Suedette High Cone Heels: $22.80

 The years, they have not been kind.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Busted Ass Boots: Beyond Thunderdome

Two shoes enter…

All dignity leave.

Thunderdome, bitches.

Forever 21, We Don’t Need Another Hero.

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5 Old WTF Trends that Need to be Retired

Forever 21 has made their fortune selling cheap trend items to the masses and although I respect everyone’s right to safely shop for items of the moment, there are a few things still in stores that should have stopped existing by now.

1.

Stupid Owl Accessories

I still haven’t figured out how wearing the wisest bird in the animal kingdom on your person makes you look so effing stupid.

2.

Dumb Ass Sublimation Tops

Basically anything with those stretch marking looking lines over the print of the shirt needs to stop. It looks like some lazy form of tie-dye and it’s so ugly even hippies won’t wear it. Stop it.

3.

Lamé. It’s spelled that way for a reason.

4.

Ridiculous Gladiator Sandals

You know what these could use? More straps. Leave away from here, Gladiator Sandals. You’ve had enough.

5.

Accessories, Clothing, Etc. with Feathers

Despite the fact that I have never actually seen anyone in real life wear a feathered accessory, Forever 21 keeps cranking out these oversize cat toys. I can only hope they’re being purchased and then shredded to bits by irate felines in homes across America.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Wonderful Wednesday: Valentine’s Day Edition

Once a week, for but a brief 24 hour period, we press pause on the mini series of hate that is WTForever 21 and give propers to F21 for their thrifty and wonderful selections.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, this Wednesday we’re bringing the sex.

Peep Toe Heels: $22.80

Hold on to your thongs, this is Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading

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To Grandmother’s House we go

Mercy, mercy, mercy.

Price: $18.80

These shoes could make an abandoned, ratty roadside sofa blush with embarrassment.

Just looking at these floral printed foot failures brings me right back to grandma’s house and all the unfamiliar and unsettling sights and smells of creeping death within.

Forever 21, put some plastic on those shoes so they won’t get ruined.

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