In the semi-words of walking nightmare skeleton Rachel Zoe,
Oh. My. Gah.
Bamboo Leaves Jumpsuit: $22.90
SHUT IT DOWN, SHUT THE FRONT DOOR AND SHUT MY EFFING EYES TIGHT.
It’s a harem pants jumpsuit. This is what you start wearing when you just don’t give a shit anymore.
It reeks of failure.
Don’t feel like putting on real clothes to run to the grocery store? Jumpsuit.
Don’t have the energy or foresight to keep both a top and a bottom clean enough to wear in the outdoor world? Jumpsuit.
Want to go to class in pajamas without actually wearing pajamas? Jumpsuit.
If you bought this, sort your life out, IMMEDIATELY.
Forever 21, WTF?
Maybe it’s the loving glow that Valentine’s Day has cast upon me this year, but I am kind of liking this jumpsuit.
Strapless Knit Jumper: $15.50
It just feels so sexy and 70’s, like something Bianca Jagger or a young Anjelica Huston would lounge around in by the pool.
On the other hand, it’s all fun and games until someone walks in on you in the cabana bathroom taking a piss with your tits out because this thing is too impractical to be in more than one piece.
Oh, I didn’t notice you there.
Chic Belted Jumpsuit: $22.80
What is your first wish?
Forever 21, Stop Freeing Genies from their Lamps and then Using them in Photoshoots.