Tag Archives: dress

Shining Harder than a GIA Diamond

In the past few weeks I’ve received a record amount of emails and links in comment threads about one dress.

A dress so WTF it seems to have captured the attentions and captivated the minds of literally handfuls of you.

Coated Party Dress: $19.80

Yes, coated. A lot of your have asked, “Coated with what?”

And I have to answer, “Isn’t it obvious?”

Coated with swag. Coated with confidence, class and  high-shine polyester… Probably mostly high shine polyester, though. I mean, a GIA certified diamond would be jealous. A GIA, I TELL YOU! Look how she sparkles.

And this isn’t just some form of bondage picnic wear or something from Cat Woman’s casual wardrobe, oh no. Not only is this dress great for cocktail parties, you can also turn it inside out when you’re done and toss trash in it for easy clean up.

That’s called multi-tasking. And value.

Forever 21, WTF?

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5 Old WTF Trends that Need to be Retired

Forever 21 has made their fortune selling cheap trend items to the masses and although I respect everyone’s right to safely shop for items of the moment, there are a few things still in stores that should have stopped existing by now.

1.

Stupid Owl Accessories

I still haven’t figured out how wearing the wisest bird in the animal kingdom on your person makes you look so effing stupid.

2.

Dumb Ass Sublimation Tops

Basically anything with those stretch marking looking lines over the print of the shirt needs to stop. It looks like some lazy form of tie-dye and it’s so ugly even hippies won’t wear it. Stop it.

3.

Lamé. It’s spelled that way for a reason.

4.

Ridiculous Gladiator Sandals

You know what these could use? More straps. Leave away from here, Gladiator Sandals. You’ve had enough.

5.

Accessories, Clothing, Etc. with Feathers

Despite the fact that I have never actually seen anyone in real life wear a feathered accessory, Forever 21 keeps cranking out these oversize cat toys. I can only hope they’re being purchased and then shredded to bits by irate felines in homes across America.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Wonderful Wednesday: Valentine’s Day Edition

Once a week, for but a brief 24 hour period, we press pause on the mini series of hate that is WTForever 21 and give propers to F21 for their thrifty and wonderful selections.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, this Wednesday we’re bringing the sex.

Peep Toe Heels: $22.80

Hold on to your thongs, this is Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading

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WTFucked Up Frock

This dress is so confusing even the description is effed.

Multi Color Panel Dress: $29.80

I think the guy from Booked on Phonics wrote this gem:

“Constructed from different color fabrications this dress is sure to show off your curves in this form fitting dress.”

Yeah, it’ll show off your curves. Just like this sentence is showing off the writer’s wildly limited familiarity with grammar.

Forever 21,

WTF?

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Disco Ice Skater

Check out this Studio 54 velvet rope reject costume.

Price: $19.80

The Drop Waist Lacy Contrast Dress looks like what a figure skater at the Fugly Olympics would wear. The only landing she’s going to stick is the one that’s smack dab in the middle of a shame spiral.

Here’s a hint, ladies: if you’re considering purchasing a clothing item with a description that uses the words “crinkled skirt,” “velveteen,” “taupe” and “coral” all in the same sitting, you may want to seriously assess the life choices that led you to this point.

Forever 21, WTF?

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WTFrankenstein dress

This is my nightmare.

 

Price: $24.80

A hideous Frankenstein monster of a garment that looks more like an amateur attempt at sewing than a mass produced, professionally designed clothing item.

Out of control ugly, mini floral print tank top with a most unflattering mini bubble skirt with random pickups.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more WTFucky, they slap a bow on the side.

This dress is the equivalent of your cat dropping a mangled mouse corpse at your feet and then looking up at you, as if to say, “Ta-dah.”

Forever 21, bad kitteh!

 

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Bea Arthur box dress

Ladies, please.

 

It’s an abstract cowl neck dress. Pay no attention to the insanity happening at the shoulders. This dress is all about the cowl.

The “dramatic cowl neck that extends down the length of the dress” obscuring any detail of your form and turning you into a young Bea Arthur in the process.

Price: $24.80

Hey, Blanche, what do you think of the side view?

 

Verdict?

Not good.

Forever 21, WTF?

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