This has to be one of my favorite “spin” descriptions of a Forever 21 garment, ever.
Crochet Knit Shawl: $15.84
“Snag granny’s style with this tiered crochet shawl.”
Man, oh, man – if I had a nickle for every time I rifled through my grandmother’s closet looking for something to wear on a first date.
I can smell the old lady funk coming off this thing through the computer screen. It looks like the product of a junior college class called, “Crafts for the Forever Alone” or “Crafts for Women who Have just Plain Given up and said ‘Fuck it. I’m just going to be with my cats.'”
Well, let me tell you something – don’t kid yourself, even CATS would you judge you for wearing this. Especially cats.
Forever 21, Hiss.
Forever 21 has made their fortune selling cheap trend items to the masses and although I respect everyone’s right to safely shop for items of the moment, there are a few things still in stores that should have stopped existing by now.
Stupid Owl Accessories
I still haven’t figured out how wearing the wisest bird in the animal kingdom on your person makes you look so effing stupid.
Dumb Ass Sublimation Tops
Basically anything with those stretch marking looking lines over the print of the shirt needs to stop. It looks like some lazy form of tie-dye and it’s so ugly even hippies won’t wear it. Stop it.
Lamé. It’s spelled that way for a reason.
Ridiculous Gladiator Sandals
You know what these could use? More straps. Leave away from here, Gladiator Sandals. You’ve had enough.
Accessories, Clothing, Etc. with Feathers
Despite the fact that I have never actually seen anyone in real life wear a feathered accessory, Forever 21 keeps cranking out these oversize cat toys. I can only hope they’re being purchased and then shredded to bits by irate felines in homes across America.
Forever 21, WTF?
Alright everyone, here is a fashion rule of thumb:
If something looks terrible on the model it is going to be horrifying on you.
Case in point, this offensively ugly, cat lady’s wet dream.
If you find this garment even remotely wearable, you may as well get used to the pungent cocktail of cat piss and Fancy Feast right now, ‘cus there is going to be a lot of it in your future.
Forever 21, WTF?