Sweatin’ to the Oldies


As much I know we all love fashion magazines, with their fanciful photo shoots and designer eye candy lineups, they’re also tinged with a little bit of insanity.

Yeah, sure, everybody looks flawlessly perfect when they come out of a pool. None of us have ever looked like a cat, brought near to the point of death from drowning, when we pop out poolside after landing a sick canonball.

But of all my favorite photo shoot fun times jollies, the faux workout shoot has got to be my favorite and the one with the highest saturation of insanity. You know the one – where the models are lifting weights, doing a workout wearing sky high Louboutins, chunky rings and perfectly place beads of beautiful sweat across neon colored  lips.

And what better way to take advantage of Forever 21’s recent neon gym wear craze!

Easy to recreate, right?

Easy as fucking PIE.

Top: Forever 21 $13.80

Leggings:  Forever 21 $15.80

Shoes, Determined Intense Workout Face, Flared Nostrils: Mine

Shake Weight: $19.95

Eye ( and leggings ) of the tiger.

When you’re about to run 20 miles, swim the English channel and punch Pipa Middleton in the face in wedge heels for your workout (as I did, right after this photo was taken) you’ll want to stretch. I encourage all of you, before you partake in a vigorous, sweaty, mesh and pleather legging workout to, please, make sure you are limber.

Forever 21, Welcome to the Limit.



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24 responses to “Sweatin’ to the Oldies

  1. Shana

    Oh my god, this made me laugh out loud.

  2. Giselle

    haha look up the saturday night live shakeweight video

  3. Andrea

    I’m putting that song on my workout mix on my ipod. i’m not kidding.
    i’m a total child of the 80’s. I can’t believe i haven’t found this one yet.

  4. ahahahahaaaaaa *snort* hahahahahaha

  5. Teresa

    I pee’d mapants. You make me laugh so hard. 🙂

  6. thank god for your blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hilarious!

  7. Anonymous

    i love these leggings !!! they are amazing with a oversized grey heathered T and a leather jacket. The shirt is amazing with some sandals and high wasted denim shorts. your shoes however are awful and you need to really start working out for reals. Maybe spend more time readig fashion blogs to improve your style and stop hating on everything

    • ringtheory

      I do workout, Anon! I work out what my ratio to love of cheesecake and champagne is over looking good in leggings I would never actually wear in real life. I think you can guess what the outcome of my cost-benefit analysis has been thus far.

      • MM

        Anon is either:
        A) Reading & commenting on all the fashion-related blogs to help herself become the most fashionable girl in school when she starts middle school in September
        B) Works in a F21 sweat shop and needs to make/sell at least 439 pairs of pleather-mesh tights in order to make the 23 cents/day she needs to feed her family of 14
        C) Crazy as shit.

        • Anonymous

          I vote for A and C. But seriously! How can anyone with at least the intellect of a centipede, not understand that this blog is SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!…… “supposed to be”? Correction: IS ABSOLUTELY FUNNY! XD

    • Anonymous

      I finish all of those sentences with “in 1992”. i.e. “The shirt is amazing with some sandals and high waisted denim shorts…in 1992.”

  8. britty

    Love the photos/post!
    I have never seen anything as head-shakingly awful as those pleather leggings. In what situation/universe would anyone every seriously wear those things?

  9. You are fucking amazing.

  10. Holy crap. I laughed so hard I peed (a little). I’m a child of the 80s and it makes me really laugh to see this crap coming back into “style”.

    • ringtheory

      I don’t know how it happened. Fashion is cyclical, yes, but sometimes the chain should be broken. Those leggings though – don’t know of those were EVER in style. The F21 employee I asked about the rate of purchase (I always ask when I buy something insane) said they’re very popular though.

  11. Anonymous

    hahaha You’re really funny!

  12. MM

    Well, those pleather-mesh combo leggings are practical, at least… My workout leggings are just plain 100% pleather and they can get reeeeally sweaty without the mesh for ventilation. Also, did you keep this stuff after the photo shoot? The pics are awesome!

    • ringtheory

      I can’t tell if you’re joking about your pleather workout leggings but pics or it didn’t happen!

      Also, I am still debating whether I should do a contest with all the effed up clothes I buy from F21 or not. Stay tuned.

  13. bwahahahaha! I knew that was a shake weight!
    These pictures are fabulous.

    • ringtheory

      Yes the shake weight. It’s really good at toning your forearms and that’s just about it. But it’s funny.

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