Terrible Tuesday: Jumpsuits & Rompers

How did we let this happen?

Do not want.

Months ago I made the disturbing discovery that a new section of horrors had revealed itself on Forever21.com. A section most foul.

A section known simply as, “Jumpsuits & Rompers.”

Despite sounding more like an extremely misguided niche magazine than a clothing section, Jumpsuits & Rompers has persisted on Forever21.com and flourished.

Here you will be treated to some of the more offensive offerings from Jumpsuits & Rompers as the first in a long line of new weekly posts.

Buckle up, Buttercups. It’s Terrible Tuesday.

Strapless Ruffle Jumper: $27.80

Lovely, isn’t she? It’s like looking at an anorexic grape. I’ll bet she stole Fizzy Lifting drinks as well.

You get NOTHING! You LOSE! Good DAY, sir!

Ikat Woven Romper: $24.80

First off, why is this a romper and the other a jumpsuit? Where does the line between jump and romp fall?

Secondly, if you’re wearing sunglasses trying to stay casual and incognito for the summer, you might consider not wearing a blasphemous, $1 margarita colored green, Navajo print ROMPER.

We see you, bitch.

Tribal Art Romper: $19.90

I know it seems impossible but, yes, those shorts ARE ever so slightly BUBBLED.

She should just give up now, retire to Palm Beach and stuff a pair of “Oops, I Crapped My Pants” into that one-piece fashion sin.

Forever 21, WTF?

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36 Comments

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36 responses to “Terrible Tuesday: Jumpsuits & Rompers

  1. Anon

    I fuckin hate those jumpsuits and rimless that I see in the store. It’s one giant clusterfuck of ugly-as-sin, especially the floral pattern ones.

  2. Anonymous

    eh you have no taste

  3. Anonymous

    I was running late for work, and I had to pee really, REALLY bad! And I forgot I was wearing a jumpsuit. I tried pulling down, and that didn’t work. And then I pulled up, and that REALLY didn’t work. So by the time I got to the straps to take them off my shoulders….well….oops. to late. I had to call into work late because of the “jumper-pee” problem. :-O Thank god I work in fashion, because if I didn’t, my boss WOULD NOT understand! 😄

    • ringtheory

      Hahaha! You see, people! This is what I’m always railing about. A grown ass woman peed herself because of a jumpsuit! ERROR.

  4. The distinction is quite simple between jumpsuit & romper:

    Jumpsuits have either a cropped or full leg pant. Rompers are essentially jumpsuits — only they’re shorts so you can “romp” around. Forever 21 is the culprit for giving jumpsuits and rompers a bad name. I own a black, strapless jumpsuit with a wide leg pant from Walter by Walter Baker. I love it. I work at Bloomingdale’s and on my lazy days, all I have to do is, literally, jump in it, throw on a blazer and some heels and my oversleeping ass gets out the door and to work on-time whilst looking chic. DVF had a coral romper out this season that was simply to die for; I wish my body wasn’t so pear shaped so I could actually wear it…

    On that note. Don’t trash the jumpsuit/romper for what it is (Yes, when you pee you are pretty much naked, but seriously get over it. Who’s watching you pee, anyway?), trash that which executes the garment poorly. In fashion, there will always be someone who gets it right and someone who is so off base, you don’t know what to call that…”thing.”

  5. Letty

    I like the rompers that are strapless and shorter on the bottom.. jumpsuits ain’t my taste but I like seeing models wear ’em.

  6. cricket

    Just reading or hearing the word ‘romper’ causes me great bladder anxiety…

  7. Anonymous

    My mother would dress my sister & me in these things way back when… In the 60s they called them sunsuits. She couldn’t strip out of hers fast enough. And there was poor Mom, chasing my naked little sister around the yard trying to get her dressed again. LOL – ah, good times. Now, you would have to pay me to wear one!!

  8. Anonymous

    PEOPLE. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO PEE WHEN YOU’RE IN ROMPERS?? Lol.

  9. HAHA That had me laughing pretty hard! I have always wondered who buys these hideous prints!?

  10. Hime

    Ironically enough, you made me want to go to the Forever 21 website to shop. I love rompers and jumpsuits- they’ve been fashionable in Asia for years and it seems America is slowly catching up even though most of its people are way too fat to wear one right. Thanks for pointing out that Forever 21 has some nice rompers, I’ll be checking them out. I guess that’s not the reaction you want and I have nothing against people bashing on Forever 21, it’s not like it’s a favorite store of mine, I just feel you should at least stick to GOOD reasons for bashing on them, rather than bashing on rompers an jumpsuits which have been the most fashionable summer items for the past three seasons.

    • MD

      actually the ones she chose are kinda gross…….and she’s right. most of the rompers and jumpsuits they have are….well…..unwearable. not saying ALL of them are bad, but have you seen some of them?? most of the flora rompers look like it came out of someone’s vomit. especially the ones she posted. those are hideous!!!

      PS. love your blog! keep writing please! =D

    • Anonymous

      I am a 2X and have a Romper, the trick when your bigger is to buy them a size up. I get ALOT of compliments on mine.

  11. you’re such a great copywriter. i could read your material for hours…..which i do.

    ps. have you seen this piece of work?
    http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog_name=FOREVER21&category_name=faith_main&product_id=2078967136&Page=1

    a great find for a stevie nicks’ groupie? all signs point to YES!

    • …the model is also 5’10” and wearing a size 1x. Probably shouldn’t be wearing sheer pants. This season Lipsy London and I believe BCBGMaxAzria both put out a sheer wide leg trouser. They look really good on the right person.

    • Anonymous

      That “paste-in” above ^, takes you to a pic that says: “When I bought these control-top pantyhose, I was 4,9″ and 300 pounds! I spent so much money at weight watchers to lose the weight, I didn’t have any money left to buy appropriate sized pantyhose. And I also went to the gym alot, so the only belt I had left in my closet that fit me, was my weight-lifters belt! I had to have something to keep up my over-sized pantyhose! Please don’t hate on me. They require employees to wear pantyhose wear I work. I can’t go to work NAKED! I had to wear something!”

  12. I came across your stie from Jezebel. I am glad I did. Your site is good and also funny. They are about to open a Forever 21 here in London so it will be interesting to see what is out there 😉

  13. Welcome back! I have to say I have a little space in my heart for rompers, but Baby Phat style win over F21. And I wear them on days when I’ve showered but have no reason to wear real clothes, because I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE BUT MY MAILBOX. That is what rompers are for. That, and babies. Maybe toddlers.

  14. I’ll admit it, I kinda want an all black romper.

  15. sophie

    this site is pretty hilarious, is there anyway to subscribe via rss though? i read other blogs i subscribe to everyday and would love to add this one to the list

  16. Thing is, this shit is realllly popular in Copenhagen right now. I cannot explain it.

    • Hime

      it’s popular everywhere…because it’s cute and it’s easy to wear. Try one on, whether it’s from Forever 21 or elsewhere!

  17. I am so glad you’re back!

  18. SC

    OMFG. You are so, so, funny. Power to the people, Baby. Please keep exercising the freedom to speak about whatever suits you.

  19. MM

    I’m so glad you’re back. SO GLAD. I have actually cried while laughing so hard at some of your posts.

  20. I love how directly below the post, there’s an ad for “children’s onesies”, because that’s exactly what rompers & jumpsuits are- onesies for adults, wtihout the handy crotch buckle.

  21. Just saw those ridic puffy shorts at the Forever 21 here…looks like a loaded diaper.

  22. Glad you’re back!! YEAH!!! x0x0

  23. Michelle of Chellbellz

    Ummmmm last time i brought a romper from the plus section all the buttons popped the first time i wore it out, and i couldn’t get it off fast enough whenever I needed to pee.

    • ringtheory

      Michelle! The very concept of having to get BASICALLY butt ass naked to pee when you wear a romper or jumpsuit is precisely why they not a good idea. Tits out. Squatting over the toilet. It’s not cute.

      • MM

        SO glad you’re back. I peed a little at “Tits out”. I’m so grown up.

      • Raven

        Dude, if I have to seriously contemplate stripping down to my birthday suit just to pee, then there is something inherently wrong with this picture.

        Fashion be damned, I’m pretty sure that that problem alone should reinforce the idea that grown-ups should never, ever wear outfits that were originally designed for toddlers.

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