Tag Archives: sweater

Drop Bows on ‘Em

You know what’s missing from my life (other than servants)?

Jeweled Accent Top: $22.80

A sweater with subtle jewel, rhinestone accent and large, satiny bow on the side.

But, I still feel like it’s missing something.

French Terry Bow Pullover: $22.80

A chiffon rat’s tail! MORE sequins! How did you KNOW?

Forever 21, You Read my Mind and then you BLEW it.

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Derelicte!

WTFresh Hell is this?

Price: $26.00

Is that an old fisherman’s net with little peices of trash  and carp scales bundled together at the collar? Are those yarn loops?

Nope. Just trash.

This thing looks like a piece from Mugatu’s Derelicte campaign.

Forever 21,

WTF?

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Fugly Shrugly

I’m not the biggest fan of ruffles.

Nor am I the biggest fan of skin-tight half sweaters that accentuate nothing but the joint between my shoulders and arms.

Enter the Ruffle Knit Shrug:

Price: $13.80

Let’s pause for a moment and forget about the absurd ruffles, which are too short to provide any neck warmth and too plentiful to provide any sanity.

Briefly disregard the overall uncomfortable, bunchy polyester clusterfuck of it all.

Just focus on the models face.

The model, whose sole purpose here is to sell the garment by inspiring our lustful envy, could only muster a look of peeved bewilderment, as if someone had just told a racist joke in mixed company or asked her to take her shoes off before coming into their house.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Aztec Print Pullover

Bullcrap.

THAT is nothing but a thinly, poorly disguised Cosby sweater. Put this on and see how many seconds it takes people to start asking you about Jell-o pudding and why Dr. Huxtable never seemed to ever be at work during the damn daytime.

Price: $16.90

Forever 21,

Exactly.

WTF?

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