Tag Archives: shorts

Halloween Costumes are Coming Early

WHAT

THE

FUCK

Shorts: $Unknown

Now, I like Halloween just as much as the next girl. I even enjoy the vast variety of slutty, adult themed Halloween costume outfits ladies wear in the last night of our cool Octobers. I partake in the sexy Halloween costume outfit wearing as well. Last year I marauded up and down the West AND East sides of Los Angeles costumed as the bustiest damned girl scout on planet Earth.

But come on. Forever 21, isn’t it a little early to be stocking tan pleather booty shorts with a lace-up front? It’s barely August!

To be fair, they were just featured as a tease in the photoshoot for this generic flanel shirt, but bitch please. You can’t expect to trot out nonsensical ass coverings such as this and have no one inquire about them. It’s just not done. This, the tribal trends and a whole host of very costume outfit inspired accessories has got me ITCHING for skanky costume ideas. And when it comes to an excuse to get crunk, go pre-court order FourLoko and bare some sweet T&A, you can’t do better than Halloween.

Look for a full-blown costume outfits post in the coming weeks.

Forever 21, Trick or Treat.

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Petro Zillia Brings WTFashions to Forever 21

Last night was a WTFest of epic proportions.

The Forever 21 at the Glendale, CA Americana threw a shindig to celebrate the arrival of Petro Zillia’s new line, exclusive to the retailer, and when I say that the clothes were tasteful, well made and appropriate for women of all ages I am FUCKING LYING.

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WTFaux Leather Shorts

No matter how bad things get, no matter how sparse your closet, tight your budget and low your self esteem …

these shorts

are not the answer.

Price: $15.80

Non-breathable, swamp-butt producing pleather booty shorts.

Wear these things during a heat wave and you’ll get pruning where NO WOMAN should EVER get pruning.

And how are you susposed to wash them? Answer: you don’t.

Have fun with that undercarriage infection.

Forever 21, WTF?

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WT inFantilism

If I had to name the least sexy and most disturbing fetish on the planet it would probably be  the one for adult diapers.

But for a small subset of folks, adults who dress and act like babies are the most erotic thing ever and the ultra hip designers at Forever 21 have got their finger on the fashion and passion pulse of the infantilism world.

Price: $19.80

Merry Christmas, pervs.

Gross, sexy baby shorts. Good for a night out on the town or a cozy evening in with your rattle and binky. Just doing the cursory research for this post made me want to thoroughly wash both my eyes and soul.

Forever 21,  WTF?

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Ye olde ugly shorts

Every once in a while, I’ll run across an item at Forever 21 so classic, so perfect, so elegantly wearable, I must have it, no matter the cost.

 

This is NOT one of those times.

Pleated Balloon Shorts (holy Hell…): $8.90

Now all I need to complete the look is my long musket and fine knee-high stockings.

Forever 21, Whateth the Fucketh?

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Layered Plaid Skirt

This is good.

If you’re an elderly bagpipe player who wants to conceal the fact that you’re wearing a well used adult diaper.

Price: $29.00

Forever 21, WTF?

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