Main Squeeze Wedding Cake Topper: $28.50 

…

Sexy Cake Topper: $27.50 

…

So what if you’re grandmother is there! And the children? They gotta learn ’bout booty someday. Why not on the happiest day of your life?

The Love Pinch: $27.37 

…

Get it, girl. 

You smart, talented, crazy, awesome bunch of people!

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Don’t miss a minute of the snort laugh, I-Almost-Pissed-My-Pants ACTION!

Lulz,

Rachel

P.S. – I will not be checking out comments, etc. on this site so PLEASE if you would like to leave a comment go to WTForever21.com.

Thanks!

They’re not just for chronically single, 42-year-old homeroom teachers anymore.

Suedette Fringe Vest: $19.80

I really shouldn’t be too hard on this vest, though. It did take time out of it’s busy schedule doing Wicca and listening to Tori Amos’ full discography to be here with us today.

Forever 21,

Blessed Be.

What

the

Fuck?

Forever 21,

Jeweled Accent Top: $22.80

A sweater with subtle jewel, rhinestone accent and large, satiny bow on the side.

But, I still feel like it’s missing something.

French Terry Bow Pullover: $22.80

A chiffon rat’s tail! MORE sequins! How did you KNOW?

Forever 21, You Read my Mind and then you BLEW it.

A job having my g-string plugged with sweaty dollar bills or a communicable disease? I spied this selection of busted ass stripper heels on the top floor of a Forever 21. Most of them were soiled in some fashion, and all of them looked as if they had been worn. To the club. Many times. Until closing.

Check out these gems. Sky-high, red feathered shoes, ripe for the picking. You’d have to be a fool or someone who doesn’t like getting a stranger’s foot crust on you not to buy these!

And these! Electric blue and heavy on attitude.

And dirt.

It was hard to tell just by looking at them, but I am guessing these shoes may have been the shoes below at some point in history.

Suedette High Cone Heels: $22.80

 The years, they have not been kind.

Forever 21, WTF?

]]> http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/2011/08/11/get-it-now/feed/ 7 ringtheory getitnow redshoes blueshoes blueheelclean http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/wearable-soundtrack-of-the-80s/ http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/wearable-soundtrack-of-the-80s/#comments Wed, 10 Aug 2011 21:05:18 +0000 ringtheory http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/?p=1113 Continue reading →]]> This post goes out to all you ladies and lads who railed against me for hating so super hard on harem pants.

“Try them! They’re really comfy and I get compliments on mine all the time.”

“Not ALL harem pants look bad. You just have to pick the right ones.”

“You just don’t like harem pants because you have dignity and don’t like people laughing behind your back in the streets.”

Ok, I made that last comment up, but regardless!

To all you harem pant loving peeps, I have one thing to say.

Fuck. You.

Fuck you, because, shit … you were KIND of right.

Zebra Harem Pant: $15.80

Yes, they are comfortable. Yes, they don’t look THAT bad, BUT – I can’t help feeling like I’m an extra on the set of a music video from the soundtrack of a John Hughes movie. Yes, the soundtrack is awesome, yes, the soundtrack will be what ultimate catapults you comfortably right back into the first moment you ever saw Jake Ryan and his perfect smile,  but the clothes? Not so awesome.

I just can’t shake the feeling wearing this out and about that someone is definitely going to run up to me and shout, “STOP!” because it’s Hammer Time. Then I’ll be contractually obligated to do the running man in heels. Is that what you want for me?!? SELFISH.

Forever 21, Fine, Harem Pants are not THAT Bad.

]]> http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/wearable-soundtrack-of-the-80s/feed/ 24 ringtheory soundtracks DSCF5244 http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/huffpost-post-forever-21-religion/ http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/huffpost-post-forever-21-religion/#comments Wed, 10 Aug 2011 17:21:46 +0000 ringtheory http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/?p=1111 ]]> HuffPost version of this Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-kane/the-11-ways-forever-21-is_b_922581.html#s325926&title=God_Will_Guide

Enjoy it all over again for the first time on Huffington Post!

A dress so WTF it seems to have captured the attentions and captivated the minds of literally handfuls of you.

Coated Party Dress: $19.80

Yes, coated. A lot of your have asked, “Coated with what?”

And I have to answer, “Isn’t it obvious?”

Coated with swag. Coated with confidence, class and  high-shine polyester… Probably mostly high shine polyester, though. I mean, a GIA certified diamond would be jealous. A GIA, I TELL YOU! Look how she sparkles.

And this isn’t just some form of bondage picnic wear or something from Cat Woman’s casual wardrobe, oh no. Not only is this dress great for cocktail parties, you can also turn it inside out when you’re done and toss trash in it for easy clean up.

That’s called multi-tasking. And value.

Forever 21, WTF?

]]> http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/2011/08/09/a-gia-diamond/feed/ 13 ringtheory a GIA http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/crafts-for-cat-ladies-in-training/ http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/crafts-for-cat-ladies-in-training/#comments Mon, 08 Aug 2011 20:54:12 +0000 ringtheory http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/?p=1100 Continue reading →]]> This has to be one of my favorite “spin” descriptions of a Forever 21 garment, ever.

Crochet Knit Shawl: $15.84

“Snag granny’s style with this tiered crochet shawl.”

Man, oh, man – if I had a nickle for every time I rifled through my grandmother’s closet looking for something to wear on a first date.

I can smell the old lady funk coming off this thing through the computer screen. It looks like the product of a junior college class called, “Crafts for the Forever Alone” or “Crafts for Women who Have just Plain Given up and said ‘Fuck it. I’m just going to be with my cats.’”

Well, let me tell you something – don’t kid yourself, even CATS would you judge you for wearing this. Especially cats.

Forever 21, Hiss.

]]> http://wtforever21.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/crafts-for-cat-ladies-in-training/feed/ 17 ringtheory Crafts for